Monday, March 02, 2009


Gathering At the Well

Over at “At The Well” the ladies are talking about persisting through the times when we are knocked down and reflecting on how these circumstances have brought glory to the Father. It didn’t take me long to see where I am struggling right now. Because I am still struggling through this, I am continually working on how I am persisting through it, and have yet to see just how this will bring glory to the Father.

When I got married, I knew life was going to be hard. I had been told that marriage is the best thing, but takes a great deal of work. I thought everyone was out of their mind. My husband and I had a great courtship and dating relationship, how hard could it be, right??

We quickly found out how hard marriage was. Not only is it tough getting used to living with someone, but it has also been rough getting used to each others little quirks. Not to mention, when you have two sinful personalities coming together, there is bound to be some clashing at least every day. I'm not saying we haven't had any good, or GREAT, times in our short (9 month) marriage, because we have! I'm just saying that marriage has been a bit more challenging than I first thought.

One of the things we have been struggling through lately is finding out each others needs. I feel there are three types of categories here: 1.) The "wifely duties" I feel God is calling me to do 2.) The needs I think my husband has and 3.) The actual needs he has. It was my belief that what God has called me to do went hand and hand with what I felt my husband’s need were. I thought he needed me to provide dinner, laundry, a clean house, etc., but when we talked about all I had been doing, I felt defeated when he told me those weren't that important.

I felt lost. I felt I was striving to be the wife God had called me to be by taking care of these household things, but my husband felt differently. All I had been doing wasn't anything he needed, instead, he needed more. Not that I didn't want to give him what he needed, that's not what I have been struggling with. I'm struggling with the line between what God expects from me and what my sweet hubby expects from me. I felt I was trying so hard to listen to what God was telling me, I was seeking other Godly women and using them as examples, and diving into what the Word calls women to be and do, but that wasn't what was needed and in essence it went unnoticed.

Trying to persevere through this struggle has been confusing for me. I have learned that I was trying to put my priorities in the right order by seeking God’s will first, but I wasn’t seeking what was needed from me from both God and my husband, and in turn wasn’t honoring either. It’s tough when you finally wake up, dust your bottom off from being knocked down and realize you need to do something about your situation.

I realize I need to examine my relationship with my Father and really seek out what he has truly called me to be. I need to talk with my husband and see what his needs are and ask him to come on board and support me as I grow into a Godly woman. It is my hope that pursuing these changes in my life, I will bring glory to the Father and create harmony within my marriage.


Unknown said...

Great post, Katie! Oh how I remember that first year of marriage. It is such a learning and growing time. You are definitely doing what's best for your marriage by seeking God's will.

Patty Wysong said...

The first years of marriage are so hard! I know there are those that seem to breeze through them, but they amaze me. Truly.

By realizing NOW what you need to do (LoL--and doing it), you'll be saving yourself headache and heartache later on! (That's experience of learning that lesson the hard way. *sigh*) Persistence in your marriage will pay off with HUGE dividends and blessings. You'll not regret it.

Ashley Wells said...

This is a thing a lot of people have to realize when they get married. But, as long as you keep persisting, you will be rewarded with a great marriage!

Thanks for sharing!


LAURIE said...

Perseverence definetly is proven in year one of marriage! As I was reading your post I was thinking of a great book you should ready if you haven't already ... "His needs / Her needs" I highly recommend it. -Blessings, Laurie