Monday, March 16, 2009

My Husband is my Friend

Gathering At the Well

Over At the Well, Amy is talking about the importance of our husband as our friend, and I couldn't agree more. Now, for those of you who don't know, I am new to this whole husband and wife thing. My husband and I just got married less than 10 months ago, but in these short 10 months A LOT has been revealed to me. Outside of communication and prayer, the greatest of what I have learned is the importance of being friends with Jeremy.

For me, it's great to hear that we should be friends, but as a friend, what should we do?? That's why I just love Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
In marriage, being a friend is essential. We help each other succeed, we help each other when we're in trouble, we sharpen each others countenance. And, when we bring God in, our triple braided cord is a match to be reckoned with. 

As a newlywed, I am still learning what it means to always be there for one another when we need help or are alone. We have found that communication is essential in building up this relationship, along with prayer. It's really hard to run to help someone when you feel they are being selfish, but then again, what does that make you? Likewise, why would Jeremy want to be around me to help me when I am grouchy and moody and anything he does just isn't suiting me? I find it hard, sometimes, to put his needs above mine, but, I have also found the more I do it, the easier it is. 

There have been a few resources we have found helpful in helping us understand each other, relate to one another and build a more holy marriage and a deeper friendship. 
  • The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman really allowed us to see what each others love language is. So, instead of working hard and doing acts of service to show Jeremy I love him, he really needs words of affirmation. Text messages, or notes left to him, as well as affirming him daily on the great husband and friend he is, is essential. 
  • Creating an Intimate Marriage by Jim Burns has really been our go to book. Although Jim and Cathy talk a great deal in the book about being a youth minister (which my dear Jeremy is) and the struggles that entails while being married, I find these principles can be applied to anyone and everyone. 
  • Lastly, Tommy Nelson does an amazing series on the Song of Solomon where he breaks down and dissects the book and gives great advice on being a better friend and lover.
Marriage is hard, I have learned. And being a friend to a man who leaves the toilet seat up, clothes on the floor next to the hamper and loves to sit and play NBA Live for hours can be exhausting, but we have a great teacher in Jesus. If we work and use Him as an example, how amazing could our marriage with our BFF be?


Laurie Ann said...

I loved your insight on this. The Scripture from Ecclesiastes is an excellent reference point. Great post!

Ashley Wells said...

Great post! You are so far ahead of most newlyweds!!! God is great!


Jennifer @ Her Southern Charm said...

I'm definitely doing a post about this tomorrow. Don't you just LOVE that website. At the Well is so awesome!

Come over and join my 21 day challenge to becoming a more effective wife!

Power Up Love said...

From the movie Fireproof. I Dare you to do The Love Dare. Go to:

It has been a real eye opener for me.