Thursday, June 22, 2006

Being Friends with An Ex

Okay, so I have come to the conclusion that the worst part of breaking up with someone is being friends with that person. I'm not talking the kind of friends that you talk to on a constant basis and always know whats going on in their life. I have that kind of ex and we are great friends that way. I'm talking the 'just cordial friends' know, the kind you talk to maybe once a month just to say hi and...well...just to say hi.

So I had my ex call me yesterday just to say hi. You know we did the usual asking and telling of work and school and family life. Then, inevitably, the "so...are you seeing anyone special" came up as sometimes in these conversations it does. You think you're over this person, I mean hello you've moved on and have been dating on and off yourself, but to hear him say" Yeah, actually I am seeing someone, and she's a really nice girl" just hits you...hard. Memories flood back into your mind and for some unknown reason you start missing him. Now, I'm not saying I want to get back with this guy...FAR FROM IT!! Dating him, I'm sorry to say, were the darkest days of my life. And for those of you who know me well know why. I became someone I wasn't. I began settling for less than I deserved. I put up with behavior that WAS NOT acceptable on any level. So why would I miss that?? Why would I miss covering the pain and bruises?? I think it's the comfort we miss when this happens more than anything. When you have been with a person for a long time, you know them (good and bad) and they know you. There isn't any awkward getting to know you and all of your dark secrets conversations, they already know them. People find comfort in the familiar and anything new and different scares us. Its getting past apprehensiveness with a new guy, however, that allows us to find our true selves and our true love.

So the phone conversation with my ex ended on a good, "Well, you take care now" note. And although I did have that moment where I missed us (not him, us), I'm over it now. The original happy-go-lucky Katie that everyone knows and loves is back!! And I'm blessed that after all this time I have been able to find that once missing girl in me!!

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